The blogs below are all written by Lisa. She was an amazing writer and was able to express experiences and feelings in a creative way that flowed together beautifully. She is the reason that allthingsnewvizslas flourished; she made so many friendships just by meeting the people and spent countless hours taking pictures, putting together videos, and just sitting with the puppies. Allthingsnewvizslas is part of her legacy and we want to honor her by letting you see just a glimpse of her through her writings...
by Lisa Andersen
I walk in. She sits and stares. I am busy so I don't notice. She follows. me. I get my cup of coffee and find my place on the couch. she persistently stays with me and sits at my feet. Then I notice. Her eyes are saying how enamored she is with me. She wants to just be with me. She doesn't want much more than that. Oh yes to be fed and let out when needed. But, mostly she just wants to be with me. She thinks I'm the bomb. She doesn't know the truth. I mess up. I forget birthdays. Sometimes I oversleep. I wish I were a better everything. She's my dog and I AM HER PERSON. So she doesn't know....
So, in my hurry I resist letting her sit on the couch with me. And she waits just for one little word. She knows the tone. She is ready to jump up and be with me when I just start the phrase.."you wanna..." that's all. And she's up with me. Nestling in. Groaning with delight.
And there we sit. Dog and Person. I wish I were all that she thinks I am. Oh GOD help me be the person she thinks I am.
And then she does it. The thing that ejects her from my lap. She lets one go...and she's in her bed again....for a while.
So, last Saturday we had a wedding to attend. None of our dogs have ever left the place as there is a barrier they don't cross. They live on 3 full acres and indoors and outdoors and are truly pets. Well, I do take them for walks and Joelle takes them for runs at different locations and travel in the car with us. But, we have never had any of them leave on their own. ...until last Saturday.
We came home from the wedding and Sadie was nowhere to be found. We checked everywhere. She is the princess of the house and at times I think she thinks she is not a dog but one of us. My heart hurt so badly. I couldn't imagine that we had lost her or someone took her or she got hit on the road. So, we each took off to find her. but, no Sadie. Sadness. It was dark and our neighbors were not awake so we had to wait til morning to talk with them. No information. Of course I checked the animal control, humane society, facebook, and craigslist but no information.
I stayed up til 4:30 am. Still drove the neighborhood since there were random fireworks heard and I could hear young voices. But, I sensed GOD saying to me that I had to trust HIM no matter the outcome and there was nothing I could do until daylight. I struggle with trusting when things may not go the way I want, but I gave in and trusted.
At daylight we learned from our neigbors that someone had seen her just by the road and people were trying to coax her to their cars so she would not get hurt. But, she headed to a little town nearby about a mile away. So, Kent and I headed there. I took Casey along and walked the streets of this village asking anyone who was up if they had seen Sadie.
As I walked by a house, a woman was coming out to her car. I waited for her to finish her conversation on the phone and then asked her about Sadie. It was obvious she had been beaten and her face was bruised with both red and purple colors. Her eyes were vacant and I realized she was not really listening so i asked her if she was ok. She walked toward me and said "don't make him mad". I tried to convince her to leave and told her she needed to get out. But, she was concerned about her belongings and I guessed it was hard for her to leave for other reasons too. I offered her my phone number but she gave me hers instead and I dialed it right away so that she had it. She told me to call her later.
As I walked away thinking about what just happened, my phone rang. It was a girl who said she thought she had found Sadie! It began to occur to me that losing Sadie was not really about losing Sadie. Elated to have Sadie back, we went and go her. I had posted an ad on craigslist that this girl saw. We brought Sadie home and she has been near me since. But, my mind was now on this woman I met.
I called her back several times that day without any answer. Then I got concerned. Though I didn't want her to get it worse from the guy we called the police and they reassured us. They went to the house and after seeing what I saw they talked with her and arrested the man. This woman is out of there, he has been charged and she has a restraining order. She called me this week several times thanking me for calling the police. She said she had called 911 but they told her they couldn't do anything unless something was happening right then.
It was not my plan to go by that house. I didn't hear this woman's cries and I knew nothing about it. But, GOD did. He is willing to even let a dog wander off to help a person.
SAD NEWS...Kasey did not show she was pregnant and Sadie....well read on about Sadie and her litter....(from my other website about life and my story)
Sadie, my dog, lays in a pillow by my feet. We had her bred a couple months ago. She is my walking companion and whines like she may just die if she cannot be near me when I am home. I have watched her through this pregnancy and described her as "needy" during the past 2 months. As the days have drawn near for her to have pups, I was concerned that she was not that large. Maybe she will have 2 or 3,...maybe up to 5.
Then she started to nest. She lay in her bed with several plastic toys. I noticed her caring for them and also noticed she seemed to be readying for the pups by developing milk. Her due date was the 28th. That day came and went without any pups.
She still lays in her bed and cuddles up with her toys, treating them as if they are real live pups. She licks them and snuggles them. And if I take them and put them up she comes over and carefully places them in her mouth to bring them back to her bed and care for them.
She pretends. She is a very very good mother. That is clear and she so longs for a litter than never came that she has created counterfeit pups to bond with.
There are so many analogies in this. But, the one that sticks out to me is that she is like me...like you...like each of us... We all LONG for what we were meant to be...what we were meant to do... WE were made for a bond with the ONE who made us and we prepare for HIM and feel the birth pains of what is not yet happened. We have not seen HIM face to face yet and the time has not yet come. And sometimes in our longing for things to be what they are not yet....we too, pretend. We pretend that we have arrived. We pretend that things are as they should be. The more dangerous thing for us is that if we will not wait and work and long for and hunger after HIM...sometimes we find replacements. We are just as capable of bonding to the things HE made as my Sadie is able to bond with these false plastic toys. We may even call them "precious" like Gollum did in "LORD of the the RINGS" If someone tries to pry these counterfeits of our attention from us, we grip them tighter and whine like Sadie does.
But, there is only ONE real GOD. NONE like HIM. Our longing for HIM and for what is not yet complete is not just normal but a part of the fact that we were made for more than the pretend false bonds we have with the created stuff rather than the CREATOR. We make pretend replacements in our work, our play, our ministries, our sports, our music, our talents, our intellect, our friends, our parents, our need to be important and right...and so many other things.
But, the REAL thing we were made for is an honest relationship with HIM that admits that we long for HIM, and in our impatience, we try to find another way.... so we pretend sometimes. We can be filled and fulfilled but ONLY by HIM and what HE created us to do and be..like Sadie who is an excellent mother and longs for that litter. All other things are plastic toys. We are filled by HIM and everything good flows from that spring. I don't want to pretend that the things and people I love are the purpose of this life....they are not...I love them...but HE is the true Purpose. For in HIM and through HIM and by HIM all things are made and hold together. I was meant for HIS purposes and in my impatience I don't want to accept anything less.
Sadie will move past her plastic toys and have a litter later this summer or fall. She is just showing what she longs for and was made for.
Sadie is getting ready to have her 2nd litter and she is acting like it. Sleeping, eating and needy. Yes, she and Kasey are having their litters at the end of this month. And with their litters will come SPRING! I cannot wait. Except my daughter, my baby, the last one, is graduating this spring and a new season of our lives will begin.
Reminiscing and yet anticipating what this next chapter will bring. Smiling with tears.